The Ejaculatory Cycle

by Cam Fraser // June 9 // 0 Comments

Driven by biological urges and hormonal changes in the body, the Ejaculatory Cycle is often felt as frustration, tension or anxiety.

This is what the cycle looks like; (1) Feel the build up of sexual tense, frustration or anxiety, (2) Look for an opportunity to release that tension and frustration by ejaculating, (3) Ejacuate, (4) Feel tension released and frustration subside, (5) Start all over again.

Except for a brief explosion of pleasure, most of the time you feel anxious and frustrated about when you’ll get to ejaculate again. The lives of most men are ruled by this cycle.

Ejaculation triggers the release of dopamine and oxytocin in the brain, ensuring that ejacualtion is enjoyable. Immediately after an ejaculation, you enter the refractory period. Prolactin, the hormone which subdues sexual desire, has been secreted. Feelings of needing to ejaculate, of frustration, dissipate.

The next day, dopamine and oxytocin begin to rapidly decline while prolactin gradually decreases. Testosterone is low and your tendency think about sex is diminished. You might feel sleepy, unfocused or even low in mood, also called an “ejaculation hangover.” A few days later, as your levels of dopamine and oxytocin bottom out, and testosterone slowly starts to rise, your libido increases and your body craves another ejacualtion. Really, your body is craving another hit of dopamine and oxytocin, it wants to feel good.

So, you become more interested in sex and fantasize more. In turn, you have more feelings of frustration and anxiety. Eventually, the need to ejaculate becomes so strong that you seek an outlet – masturbation or partnered sex – and the cycle begins again.

Becoming aware of this cycle and how it influences your sexual behavior is important. Are you being sexual because you’re wanting to explore pleasure and connection, or are you simply going through the motions of your Ejaculatory Cycle and seeking another hit of dopamine and oxytocin?

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Cam Fraser is a Certified Professional Sex Coach and Certified Sexologist. Being a former Tantric Yoga Teacher, his work integrates scientifically validated, medically accurate information about sexual health, with sacred sexuality teachings from the mystery traditions. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame.

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