"Yes, and...", also referred to as "Yes, and..." thinking, is a principle of improvisational comedy whereby a participant accepts what another participant has stated ("yes") and then expands on that line of thinking ("and"). By saying "yes," a participant agrees to the proposition of another, fostering a sense of cooperation rather than shutting down the suggestion and ending the line of communication.
The principle is also used in business to foster effective communication and encourage the sharing of ideas. In these settings, saying "yes" helps people be receptive rather than immediately judging. Initially accepting an idea enables the discussion to expand without limitations. The next step is to add new information into the narrative.
I've been reflecting on this way of approaching people's sharing of ideas and see a lot of value in it. When it comes to conversations about sexuality, there is plenty of polarization. Something that arises when I comment on issues related to sexuality (particularly pertaining in cis-het men, my target audience) is someone mentions an issue pertaining to women (or trans, or non-binary folks).
When I first started doing this work, my initial reaction to this would be, "But, what about men?!" I would get defensive. Usually someone would point out a perfectly legitimate and very necessary topic of discussion. Instead of acknowledging them, I'd retort by accusing them of forgetting about men. I'd think to myself, "They're doing the same thing they're criticising me about!"
This kind of knee-jerk response is actually a logical fallacy known as whataboutism. It's generally unhelpful and typically derails a conversation. It's an attempt to shift the attention off your mistake and onto your critic. As I learned what this way of thinking looks and sounds like, I started to notice how prevalent it was in discussions about sexuality. So, I've been actively trying to employ "Yes, and..." thinking to my work.
I sincerely believe that if more of us did, especially in conjunction with discernment regarding good and bad faith actors, our discussions could be so much richer and more learning would take place.