In 2017, rapper Robbie Tripp wrote an Instagram post that went viral. His post was an ode to his "curvy" wife. Thus, he has been dubbed by the internet as Curvy Wife Guy. Aside from proclaiming his love for his wife, Tripp said, "A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She's real."
This is a sentiment I’ve seen echoed by other people, particularly people who are anti-porn. They say that porn actresses, as well as sex workers and escorts, aren’t "real" women. Take this article from Cosmo as an example. It frames what porn actresses do and think as the complete opposite of the thoughts and actions of "real" women.
What these articles and people are likely referring to is the fact that sex in mainstream porn is a performance and presents a very skewed idea of what sex looks like. And I agree, the distinction between sex on and off screen is important. But the performers are "real" human beings. Porn actresses, sex workers, and escorts are "real" women. I’m not a porn star or a woman, so centring my opinion seems a bit pointless.
Writing for the escort directory Slixa, Kitty Stryker points out that pitting porn stars against the notion of a "real" woman is nothing new. Articles like the ones above stigmatise porn stars even more than they already are by portraying them as inauthentic and damaged. Stryker explains, "that attitude and reputation is part of why porn performers struggle to get hired at other jobs when they leave the industry, as well as why they get fired if they don't disclose. It's part of why they risk having their children taken away; porn stars can't be responsible adults, of course, because they're not 'real'."
Writing for her blog Girl on the Net, the titular anonymous author shares, "Separating women who work in porn from women who work anywhere else implies a lot of 'other'ness that leads to uncomfortable assumptions. If porn women are different to 'real' women, do they behave differently? Could you spot them in a crowd? Do they need to be treated differently, because of the sexual qualities than run through every aspect of them? The answer, of course, is 'no'."
Remember, porn stars are real people.