#150 Male Sexuality: Fluidity, Fear, & Fantasies with Finn Deerhart

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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Finn Deerhart. Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, men learn tools to confront their limitations, unravel internal narratives of shame, and spark deeper human connections—grounding themselves into a deeper experience of life. Finn also creates educational erotic content and provides on-site erotic coaching for various organizations, including Himeros TV, an online service that provides explicit educational content for queer men. He co-hosts the weekly Himeros Backstage podcast which can be heard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Finn helps gay and queer men ignite their eroticism and step into their emergent selves. The two of us talk about Finn’s work with gay and queer men, highlighting some of the similarities between his work and my work with straight men. We also discuss our opinions about porn and how to expand the way it is used.

Key points:
Finn introduces himself
Finn shares his coming out story
Do we need labels for our identity?
What you do isn’t who you are
Overcoming fear, finding solidarity
Being confused by the porn you watch
Where sexual fantasies come from
What is it about porn that turns you on?
Bad porn vs good porn

Relevant links:
Traver’s website: www.manuncivilized.com
Traver’s Instagram: @traverboehm


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